Vader Tots

...Ever wondered what it would be like if Darth Vader had his own line of freeze-dried food goods cleverely disguised as Tator-tots and under the ingenius surname "Kraft" all the while distributing them through means of supermarkets nationwide for the mind-blowing price of 3.75 plus applicable taxes and are the sole cause of cancer, and scientists and doctors haven't been able to trace it yet because of the ingenius fool-proof (and bulletproof) layering over the tots, that once digested, travel to Mars and then there's no way for NASA to retrieve the ever-growing mounds of digested tator-tots on Mars thanks to them shutting down. That, or that the doctors and scientists already know but are keeping it a secret because they're just so yummy, which in turn allows Darth Vader to thrive off our Earth money in order to become the richest guy in the world, so that one day, when he travels here, everyone will be forced to become his lackies and he will eventually have millions of cancer-inflicted minions to do his bidding?
WHAT FIENDS! They must be stopped!